Big Wedding or New Home? Pros and Cons

Besides National Homeownership Month, sunny June has always been affiliated with big weddings. Now that you’ve found “the one,” you need to plan your wedding AND find a new home where you can start your lives together. Congratulations!

Unfortunately, these can be two of life’s most expensive events, and they tend to coincide. How do you decide what to prioritize? There is no one right answer – but we’ve got tips for approaching these milestones the smart way. Read on!  

Option 1: The Big Wedding 

We get it. Many lovebirds dream about their weddings all their lives – along with their eager families. After a long pandemic, it’s natural to want to bring loved ones together again for a big shindig. Social and religious customs can also place financial expectations on couples. 

And even if you want a home right now, some factors out of your control might put off that decision and make a big wedding more reasonable. Maybe home inventory is low, or you’re new to town or a job and want to settle in first.

If you go with the big wedding, hopefully good planning and assistance from your families can offset some of the cost. Remember, too, that a silver lining of the pandemic is how it really changed the wedding game. With the savings you’ll get from thinking outside the box, you can have your fun, and your home, too!  

Consider some of these alternatives: 

• Midweek weddings: Save big on venues by choosing a weekday for your ceremony. 

• Micro-weddings/Pop-up weddings/“Minimonies”: Celebrate in a backyard, park, or restaurant with a smaller guest list and slimmed-down ceremony and reception. 

• Livestream the nuptials: Host your wedding online for out-of-town guests, saving everyone travel costs. 

• Get out of town: Eloping can mean sneaking out to your favorite beach, getting away to a state park, or taking a road trip to Vegas. Keeping the wedding to just the two of you limits cost (and your drama queen sister), and you can use the savings to throw a big party later in your new home! 

Option 2: Buy a Home

As you start your new lives together, of course you want the white picket fence (or sleek urban loft, cozy farm cottage, or modern tiny home...). And we want to help you! Let’s look at why buying a home can beat a big wedding. First, qualifying for a mortgage requires a solid financial profile long before you make your first payment. A smaller wedding helps you reach important goals, such as...  

• Savings (“assets”) for your down payment and closing costs. Instead of monogrammed dishes you’ll only use once a year, your family and friends can give you “gift funds” toward a down payment. Ask your Mortgage Banker about the many down payment assistance programs available. 

• Solid credit. Keeping your wedding small prevents big purchases from landing on your credit cards and haunting you for years to come. 

• Income and proven employment. It’s easier to do a great job at work (lenders like to see at least two years of stable employment) when you’re not distracted by phone calls and searching for venues online. 

• A good debt-to-income ratio (DTI)The percentage of your gross monthly income used to pay your monthly debt — a major factor in determining your borrowing risk.debt-to-income ratio (DTI)The percentage of your gross monthly income used to pay your monthly debt — a major factor in determining your borrowing risk.: shows lenders you and your partner can manage monthly debts and have funds left over. Bonus points if you use this time to work together on your budget and spending habits before you walk down the aisle. 

Second, you’ll need time and patience to qualify, home shop, get an offer accepted, and close. With a small wedding, you’ll still have enough living expenses if your home search and move take longer than expected.  Third, big wedding expenses don’t end after “I do.” Even if your family is helping pay for your wedding, you and your spouse-to-be may also be facing life’s other big costs: student loans, credit card debt, starting (or leaving) jobs, and taking on new responsibilities as parents now (or in the future). Lingering wedding bills can be stressful and prevent you from saving for your home. Finally, the classic TV show “America’s Funniest Home Videos” reminds us that weddings are unpredictable; but mortgage payments are not. There are many wedding mishaps worth a laugh, but you could also drop thousands on the big day only for a cake to be crushed, a hurricane to hit, or a best man to miss a flight. Owning a home gives you equity and a way to build your financial future with reliable payments that never increase.

There’s No One Schedule for Everyone

What’s most important is to communicate and work with your partner for a decision you’re both happy with. Pick your priority and save for the other, and if it takes several years, that’s OK. You can even buy a home before your wedding – you'll start building equity and save on rent. Just remember: married couples can get more tax benefits than unmarried if they own a home together.

Atlantic Bay is always here for your first home, forever home, and everything in between. Call us today!